South Dakota Salad

1 vending-machine-sized bag Cool Ranch Doritos (the blue bag)

1 vending-machine-sized bag whatever-cheese Doritos (the red bag)

1 bag Terriaki-Ranch flavored beef jerky

1 20 oz bottle of Mountain Dew
Cooking Instructions:

pour the mountain dew into a Teflon saucepan. heat on low-light, bringing to a light boil (do not burn the soda!). allow the soda to reduce (this means become syrupy).

open the other vending-machine bags and pour into a bowl. toss this "salad" until adequately mixed.

pour the mountain-dew-reduction over the "salad".

now that you have dressed the salad, enjoy.

my brother and i recommend eating it with your fingers, but make sure there's a sink nearby to wash the reduction off your hands.
The Stoner's Cookbook -